Travel Tips For Costa Rica

Or, How To Not Be A Douche Bag While Traveling In Costa Rica

I know, the subtitle for this post seems harsh, and it's meant to be.

Not because I want to insult you, future, past, or repeat Costa Rican traveler, but because I want to offer some guidance and support so that you can get more out of your time in Costa Rica and not come across as a turd. I'm mainly referring to visitors from the United States, who bless their souls, are some of the few who do venture out of the U.S. and see for themselves that other countries actually have paved roads, cell phones, toilet paper, and cities, and see that not all brown people are terrorists who hate the U.S. and want to destroy us. For that, I commend you. You have broken free from some of the shackles of the U.S. media and you are discovering that the world is not so frightening, that other countries can be quiet enjoyable and that people in these other countries are not all illiterate, would-be enemies. 


But, while venturing out of the homeland is a great start, there are a few steps that you can do to avoid being a complete and total ass while in Costa Rica and that's what I want to discuss today. Also, I would like to make it clear that it's not just people from the United States that come across as douche bags during their Costa Rican holiday. Other international citizens can suck, in a major way. So, whoever you are, wherever you're from, you too can learn from my travel tips.

We're going to dive right in with an easy to process list of Do's and Don'ts, which should be suited to the short attention span of people alive in 2014.

• "Panama (or Nicaragua or Guatemala) is so much cheaper!" Tip #1; stop saying this. I realize you may have just entered Costa Rica from one of the other Central American countries, and yes they are all cheaper than Costa Rica, but you must realize why and stop being shocked that a country in Latin America might have a strong economy or a high standard of living, making it not quiet dirt cheap compared to your standards. Consider this, Costa Rica is the only Latin American county to have been a democracy since 1950 or earlier. While it's neighbors were bogged down in civil wars (Guatemala Civil War 1960-1996), revolutions (Nicaraguan Revolution 1960's to 1990), and dictatorships (Panama's Dictator Noriega 1983-1989) Costa Rica enjoyed a more or less peaceful transition into the 21st century filled with tourism, thus strengthening the economy. And while Costa Rica may be a little pricier than it's neighbors who are just know seeing the benefits of tourism in their recent peaceful states, I still think a $2 beer, a $1 shot, a $10 dorm bed, and $10 dinner is pretty damn cheap. Maybe that's just the California girl in me, but really, are you going to complain about price when you're in paradise? The beach is free folks.
• "There's not a lot of good tequila here" No folks, there's not, because this isn't Mexico. Again, I think we need to realize the distinct culture of the different Latin American countries before visiting them. Tequila comes from Mexico, the glamorous Guaro is the national drink of Costa Rica, and they don't have much in common. You see, tequila is distilled from the agave plant, which lives in the desert. Here in Costa Rica, we have rain forests, cloud forests, and tropical dry forests, but we don't have deserts. So before you tell me how much you love Mexican culture, take a minute to remember you didn't buy that plane ticket to Cabo, you chose Costa Rica instead.
• "How do you like island life?" Ok, before you ask this question, let's go over general geography. Costa Rica is not an island. It is part of Central America, a narrow strip of land that connects North America to South America. This piece of land is a bridge between 2 continents, creating a unique situation where species from the 2 continents meet. It was one of the most bio-diverse places in the world. I know, especially on the Caribbean side, it can seem a lot like a Caribbean island with Rastas puffing on mary jane and Bob Marley playing at every street-side stall selling birds carved from coconut husks, but trust me, it's not an island, so don't ask anyone living here how they like island life.
• Put the toilet paper in the trash can, not the toilet. This may seem very strange to people coming from the U.S. and parts of Europe, but in the majority of the world sewage systems and water treatment plants either do not exist or operate at a much lower standard than we are used to. You can't flush your T.P. here folks and as weird as it may seem, it is the truth, so get on the band wagon. I realize you may have to recondition your habit when it comes to going through the motions, but please try your best and stop clogging up the toilets in all the bars, restaurants, and hotels you come across. 
• Follow the customs. When in Rome, do as the Romans do. This is not so hard if you bother to pick up a guide book, go to a few travel sites, and read something about the customs of Costa Rica. Learn a little bit about what they eat, what they drink, how they greet each other, if tipping is expected, you know, things like that. It may be your first time here, and you're going to have a lot to learn, that's OK, but try a little bit folks. Don't just show up, not knowing geographically where you are, what you're going to be eating, what the climate is going to be like, and then be totally shocked that you feel out of your element. Yes, it's a tropical country but there are different climates throughout the different regions. Figure out what the average temperature is like in the parts of the country you're going to visit. Yes, we have a rainy season and a dry season and in the rainy season, it can rain, a lot. Don't be shocked when you visit in the rainy season and you don't get to see the sun for 5 days in a row. Check the weather, plan your trip at the appropriate time of the year. And oh yeah, if a hotel doesn't say they have air conditioning, it's because they don't. If you can't deal with the heat, don't visit the tropics. 
• Put down your smartphone. Sure you want everyone to know what you're doing in Costa Rica. Who wouldn't want to update and check in every time they see a sloth or drink an ice cold Imperial while a band plays calypso music, but if you spend all your time Facebooking, Tweeting, Instagraming, and Snapchating you're going to miss out on a lot of things. You don't have to get on wifi at every bar or restaurant you stop in at. Play a game of dominos instead. Strike up a conversation with a random stranger. Or simply watch the ocean dance for a while. You're on vacation, slow down, put the tech toys away, and enjoy the slow pace of life.
• Speak the appropriate language. The national language of Costa Rica is Spanish, although many Costa Ricans also speak English. If you visit Costa Rica, it is polite to learn, at the very least a few Spanish phrases. Buenos Dias, Como esta, Gracias, Como se llama, Donde esta el bano, Una mas cerveza por favor. Use these if you like. Ticos like to hear gringos try the local language. But, if you do not speak Spanish, or if you barely speak Spanish and the person you are speaking to, whether Tico or Expat speaks better English than you speak Spanish, speak English! Ordering in broken Spanish to a native English speaker is a sure way to mess up your food. I know you're trying and that is appreciated, but use some common sense and use the appropriate language at the appropriate time. 
• Slow Down! You are on vacation. You are in the tropics, where the heat alone forces everyone to relax a bit. And if you are in Puerto Viejo, or the province of Limon, then you are in the Caribbean and things take time here. Food is not ready before you order it, a cook has to cook it, it's going to take time. Cocktails need to be made and what's the hurry, all you're going to do is sit and enjoy it, so why rush it? You have nowhere you need to be, and while that is a hard rhythm to get into, it's why you wanted to come here in the first place, to unwind, to relax, to take a break from the rat race to the bottom that is life in the U.S. Don't get grumpy when you have to wait for things, for your room to be ready, for the taxi to arrive, for your food to arrive, for your server to bring your bill. Just relax. It might be hard at first, but you can do it. Take a deep breath, watch the waves roll in and out, and remember you wanted to come here, so enjoy it. 

I know this is a bit of a rant, and I'm sorry if I offend anyone, sort of. It's just that after a year and half of working in a bar in Puerto Viejo it's getting a little old the whole people not knowing anything about where they are. Sometimes I'm shocked that people actually made it because they really don't seem very together when I encounter them. I almost think that nations should start making tourists take a small test about the culture and history of their country before you're allowed to purchase a plane or bus ticket entering the country you wish to visit. That way, at least all of the tourists would have a basic understanding of where the hell they are. Instead of being on Facebook all day, use that smartphone to look up some facts about the place you're visiting and actually get a little smarter.

Remember, this is not just for U.S. tourists to Costa Rica, but anyone visiting. And the tips can be applied to other countries as well, not just Costa Rica. Figure out a little bit about where you're going before you get there, and you too can avoid being a douche bag while on vacation.

Happy Travels!